LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE: The Four Threats to a Marriage: A Biblical Reflection.



LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE: The Four Threats to a Marriage: A Biblical Reflection. 


Marriage is more than a union—it is a divine covenant, a sacred bond instituted by God Himself (Genesis 2:24). At its core, marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:25-32), calling husbands and wives into a journey of love, service, sacrifice, and sanctification. Yet even godly marriages can suffer when spiritual cracks go unchecked. Four of the most dangerous threats to marital health are: lack of respect, lack of communication, lack of forgiveness, and confusing sex with intimacy. Each stands in contrast to God’s design and can slowly unravel the fabric of the covenant if left unaddressed.





1. Lack of Respect: The Erosion of God-Given Honor


The Word of God is clear: “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). Mutual respect is not optional in marriage—it’s commanded. When respect fades, dishonor creeps in. The image of God in each partner becomes obscured by criticism, sarcasm, or indifference. God designed marriage to be a relationship where each spouse esteems the other above themselves (Philippians 2:3). When that honor is lost, love begins to wither, and disunity takes root.





2. Lack of Communication: The Silence That Divides


Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” In marriage, silence can be just as destructive as harsh words. Healthy communication is a form of stewardship—it nurtures trust and brings light to confusion. When couples stop sharing their hearts, they make space for the enemy to sow division (John 10:10). Jesus said, “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’” (Matthew 5:37)—calling us to clarity and honesty in all relationships, especially the one He has joined together. Communication is not just an emotional need; it is a spiritual discipline.





3. Lack of Forgiveness: The Chains of Unresolved Offense


No one enters marriage sinless. But when forgiveness is withheld, grace is denied. Jesus taught plainly: “If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15). An unforgiving heart invites bitterness, which the Bible warns “defiles many” (Hebrews 12:15). Forgiveness is not just for the one who sinned—it is for the one who was hurt, offering them freedom and peace. Paul exhorts, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). A marriage built on grace mirrors the Gospel.





4. Confusing Sex with Intimacy: The Mistaken Substitute


Hebrews 13:4 declares, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure.” God created sex not only for procreation and pleasure, but as an expression of covenantal intimacy. However, physical closeness without emotional and spiritual intimacy leaves couples feeling more disconnected than united. Intimacy in Scripture is often tied to knowledge—“Adam knew Eve his wife” (Genesis 4:1). To be truly intimate is to be fully known and fully loved, just as Christ knows and loves us. When sex becomes a substitute for deep connection, it risks becoming transactional rather than transformational.





Conclusion: Guarding the Covenant


Every marriage faces trials, but God’s Word offers protection through divine wisdom and spiritual practices. Respect must be rooted in Christlike humility. Communication must be seasoned with truth and love (Ephesians 4:15). Forgiveness must flow freely, just as it has been freely given to us. And intimacy must be cultivated with care—emotionally, spiritually, and physically—as a reflection of divine love.


Marriage is not merely a contract—it is a covenant, sealed by God and sustained by His grace. “What God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9). The threats are real, but so is the power of God to heal, restore, and strengthen every union that remains anchored in Him.


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